We are not an island, so why do we struggle to ask for help?

A woman alone

We are not an island, so why do we struggle to ask for help?

“A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just at that moment. Noting the boy’s failure. He asked “are you using all your strength?”  “Yes I am” the little boy replied impatiently. “No you are not” said his father. “I am here just waiting and you haven’t asked me to help you”

Are you like the little boy above? I know I used to be like that and have to admit that there is still the odd occasion when I slip back into that mode.

I don’t know about you but I was brought up with the belief that if I had to ask people for help with anything, I was somehow flawed and certainly a failure. I always believed that I had to do everything myself and struggling on my own showed I was strong and tough.

I also had a problem with saying “No” to people and that really exacerbated the problem. So I used to take on more projects and tasks at work, because I didn’t want to appear difficult or unwilling.  The problem with that was, I would get into a state of overwhelm a lot of the time and this would lead to stress. To be honest with you, I lived for many years in a constant state of stress, which resulted in health issues. It was just so difficult for me to ask people for help and I really didn’t know how to go about it. I just felt so uncomfortable doing it.

Then a few years ago, I was in such a bad place, that I really had no alternative but to ask for help. Getting the help I needed started to transform my life and the penny dropped.

I realised that I could have an easier, happier and more fulfilled life if I did ask people for help. You know it isn’t as hard to do as you might think once you start practising. It really does need you to make a conscious effort to start doing it though.  The thing is when you ask other people for help it makes them feel happy and that is a good thing isn’t it?

So why was it so alien for me and for so many of us to do, when I would always be ready to help others? If we see someone else in trouble we readily offer them help don’t we and we feel good about it too. So why do we deny other people from having the pleasure of helping us. Crazy isn’t it?!

For many people admitting that they are struggling is very difficult. But we all do need help sometimes and it is really important to acknowledge that it isn’t a sign of weakness.  Successful people know that they don’t have all the answers and so they bring on the people with the knowledge and skills and experience that they don’t have. They have a social network of people that they call on for help when they need it.

That way they achieve, what they need to achieve, in a fraction of the time in comparison to continuing to struggle on their own. Plus everything gets done with ease. Who wouldn’t want life to be easy?!

So if you find it difficult to ask people for help and you are struggling with problems and issues in your life don’t just sit there feeling overwhelmed, just reach out and ask someone to help you. This might be a friend or it maybe someone who specialises in the problem that you have. Sometimes we have to invest to get the help we need in our lives and from my experience that investment has always been worth every penny spent.

Just talking to someone else can help you to see a problem or issue in a totally different light. The saying” a problem shared is a problem halved” is just so true.

The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes. So go out and find the ones you need.

There are other people who have experienced the same problems that you may be experiencing and have found a solution.  So rather than re- inventing the wheel which could take ages, it is a lot quicker and more effective to benefit from someone else’s experience rather than struggle on for days, weeks, months or even years on your own.

The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes. So when you are next struggling with something. Stop and reach out to someone else and choose to have a life of ease. You will thank yourself for it.

“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level if intelligence” – Jim Rohn – American entrepreneur author and motivational speaker

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